Can We Have Sex Yet?

Part One
Aaron and I met following a happy hour hosted by a local social club. He was still relatively new to the group, so he got his obligatory attention from the women members. Some honestly wanted him to feel welcome; others were casting their bait and hoping he’d nibble.

I had spent most of my time chatting with a female newcomer. She seemed a bit shy and worried that guys might try to hit on her. I enjoyed her company, and it was clear that she was pleased to have some neutral conversation not laced with pick-up lines.

The happy hour time expired and word spread quickly that the group was going to Dallas Nightclub dancing. We were all encouraged to come.
“Ava, we’re going to Dallas. Come join us. We know you love to dance.” They were right. I did. There was breathing and there was dancing; it would be hard for me to pick one over the other.




Someone from the crowd inquired, “Hey Aaron, you ‘re going too, aren’t you.” Aaron continued to chew his burger with his eyes fixated on me. A bit of mustard drizzled down his chin but he caught it before it hit his shirt and wiped his face, all in one move…while still looking in my direction. He mumbled something to the dance troupe that I couldn’t hear.

We both remained noncommittal about dancing. Finally, they left. I decided that as an Assistant Organizer of the Social Club, I was duty bound to introduce myself. . The two glasses of wine made it easy to shed my inhibitions.

“Hi, I’m Ava. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“My name is Aaron. Have a seat?”

We talked for a long, long time, switching to water somewhere along the way. He asked if he could walk me out to my car. Once there, Aaron did the male thing. He talked about cars. We both had a Honda. How old was mine? What size engine did it have? How many cylinders?

Who knew? Do guys really know and care that much about cars? I sensed this guy did. I was tempted to make up what I felt were convincing answers but finally admitted that I didn’t have a clue.

We made plans to meet at a movie the next day. I felt pretty sure that my feelings might change once my head cleared and I viewed him in the light of day.



Part Two
I was surprised the next day at the movie when he had neither fangs nor glowing red eyes. Maybe my perception hadn’t been too far off the previous evening. While he was well-built and certainly handsome, the appeal was more than his good looks.
We enjoyed the movie and the discussion that followed.

We proceeded to spend time together with the social club dancing, eating and attending various events. Aaron and I were able to talk to each other on a deeper, more intimate level than had been the norm with guys before him. Relatively new into the dating world, he was an eager student with a hunger for knowledge about dating and personal growth in general.

Over time we gradually became more physically intimate as well. The quick peck on the cheek graduated to long, lingering kisses. Yes, the chemistry was there. . It was clear that we were moving toward a sexual relationship. Over the years I had let go of the illusion that sex was something magical and just happened spontaneously when the moment was right.




I told Aaron that we needed to discuss sex before delving into it. I could tell by the look on his face that he was perplexed. “Discuss sex??” What a concept! To give him a break..He had been married to one person for twenty years. Although he’d been divorced for a year and a half, he hadn’t done a lot of dating.
I told him I thought it would be responsible for us to both get an HIV test. His face went pale. He readily agreed, but I couldn’t tell if he thought it was a wise medical decision or just one more obstacle that he had to bypass before reaching the treasure chest.

Ironically, three days later I got an email advertising a day of free HIV testing at ACC Eastview Campus. Clearly, the sex gods were smiling down on us and giving us a nudge. I worked until 1:00, so we made plans to meet and ride together to do the testing. When needles are involved, it’s nice to have a hand to hold.

Aaron was concerned about the time and that he might need to go early and save us a place in line. I chuckled to myself. I would like to believe that there would be a long line of responsible college students waiting for the testing, but I’d taught that age group. I just didn’t think it was likely. Even the more dependable students were more likely to use condoms.



Part Three
I checked Google Maps and found a BBQ joint that I thought would serve as a good meeting site. The plan was to leave my car in the parking lot and ride together to the campus. Aaron arrived early and sat in his car waiting for me. He wasn’t there long before an oversized employee appeared at his window.

“Boss wants to know why you all post up in here.”

Aaron groped for the words without going into details. “Uh,..I’m meeting someone here.”

“You MEETIN’ someone here?” He had clearly inferred that a drug deal was about to go down. Aaron started stammering and quickly started his car and took off. He called me. I sensed the anxiety in his voice.

“Ava, we are never meeting in East Austin again. It’s not safe over here.” I heard something about drugs and started quizzing him. “No, I’m not involved with drugs. It was a mistake.” Feeling slightly uneasy and confused, I asked if he thought we should abort the plan. “Hell no.” was his simple response.

Aaron found a busy place right beside the freeway with a large parking lot, so we met there. Next came the quest for the campus. I’d been to Eastview and knew it wasn’t exactly easy to find.

Aaron’s navigation system fussed at us nonstop. “U-turn when safe. Adjusting route. Turn left, no turn right.” Did I mention that our window of opportunity ended at 3:00? Finally, we turned off the nav and let my inner compass trust its memory…Generally, not a reliable option, but it finally got us there.



Not only was there no line; there was no sign or any indication of where the testing was being conducted. We searched, not casually. We scoured three floors. Our mission, not to mention the 3:00 deadline, drove us. It was clear; we had to ask someone. Aaron and I discussed it, and he agreed to ask while I tried to call the health center sponsoring the event.

Right on cue, a lady appeared from around a corner. She looked familiar. “Oh no. It was a friend from church.” I turned away quickly. Now why I felt like a couple of kids caught kissing in the coat closet was beyond me, but I did. I didn’t have time to stop Aaron. He was already pouring out our story and asking where this testing was being held. I hoped she didn’t recognize me….while I made the call to the health center.

My friend knew nothing of this testing but directed Aaron to two more people. I stayed hidden while Aaron talked freely about this to two more people. I got directions to the testing center and suggested we go straight there. Did I mention that I worked for ACC (another campus) and had no idea how many more familiar faces might appear?

The search for the testing center proved challenging as well. Feeling defeated, I suggested again that we give up. Aaron, looked at me and said, “Are you kidding? This IS going to happen.”

Sex is a powerful motivator.



Part Four
We found the location, but the health center workers were baffled when we told them about the ad we’d seen. Fortunately, Aaron was able to use their computer and pull up the email I’d sent him. There it was: “Free HIV testing. ACC Eastview Campus, Noon-3:00.”

The workers were happy to give us the free test but still couldn’t figure out where the ad came from. They dug through their files and finally found it; an ad that had been run two years previously had somehow been kicked back out into the Internet world again. This confirmed my suspicion that the sex gods have ways to point us in the right direction when we appear lost.

I was in the testing room trying to ignore the blood being sucked from my arm when I overheard Aaron talking to the manager of the center. “So I get it how a woman could get AIDS but I just don’t understand the mechanics of how it works for a man.” I shuddered. The conversation turned to the details involving the penis. Fortunately, I finished up and Aaron took his turn.

We exited holding a paper proclaiming our clean bill of health. I breathed a sigh of relief, not so much about the results but that the afternoon drama had ended. I asked, “So are you headed back to your place?”

He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and whispered, “No way.”



Ava's website: www.edatinginsight.com